She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
