oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
