We're facebook friends in real life
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
