like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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