just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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