You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
