You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize