I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
