shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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