no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
