Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize