Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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