I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
