she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize