it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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