ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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