what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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