i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
