So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
