I am spending my child support on dildos
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
