The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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