I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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