i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
