hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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