if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
