I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
