why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
