My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
