did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
