sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
