I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
