I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
