it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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