It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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