so explain again why im purple
no
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
These tits shall not be calmed
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