I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
