i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
