sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
