This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
