I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
