mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I made him laugh his dick is mine
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
