I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
thus making me awesome and them whores
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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