no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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