would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
