Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
