WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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