I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I supernannyed him into submission
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
