Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just found a bag of teeth...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize