i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
