That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
