I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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