chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
