real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I won the penis lottery.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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