there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
