I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Terrible idea I love it
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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