Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
