He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
