i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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