Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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