Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
