I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
