it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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